To be honest, I have used the delete key more than any other key for this post. I feel so passionately about the topic of supportiveness of other women because I see the unsupportiveness and competitive spirit around me and in me but writing that down for everyone else to see and judge makes writing it difficult.

But anyway, I’ll try and dive right in.

For the last month or so I have been really struggling with feeling like some of my friends are not really being supportive of me in certain areas of my life. I keep mentioning my frustrations to a couple of close friends of mine and asking for their opinions as well so that I know I am not looking at the world like everyone is out to get me.

Fast forward to this past week.

Please note that my life is a series of signs and I don’t think anything is coincidental!

Sign #1. The other day on Instagram someone posted “when women support each other incredible things happen”

My initial response: Yeah…. too bad women never support other women because THEY are all jealous and bitter.

Sign #2. As I am feeling so overwhelmed with my overly dramatic life problems over my unsupportive friends we discuss celebrating victories even when ours is not there while at church on Sunday.

My initial response: Yeah….and THEY should definitely celebrate my victories even when theirs is not there! That is exactly what is going on here. My victories aren’t being celebrated because they haven’t yet reached the same victory they strive for. Yep, couldn’t have said it better.

Sign #3. I realize as I’m journaling my frustrations about everyone else that I am just as guilty as they are. My character flaws are right in front of me.

DING DING DING!! It is not a THEY thing, it’s a ME thing. I am so guilty of doing that. I have always struggled with comparing myself to others in almost every possible aspect of my life and I have realized that and it’s a constant conscious effort to make sure I don’t focus on others, but rather focus solely on myself so that I don’t compare. With comparing also comes envy. Envy…jealousy…bitterness…it makes celebrating others victories difficult. ESPECIALLY if you are comparing yourself to others and the victories you haven’t yet achieved.

Example: When I am at the gym and I am giving it my very best and watching my diet and I see somebody making way more progress than me in their two weeks as opposed to my two months I for sure am bitter about it. So while I am outwardly saying celebratory words I certainly don’t feel it. I noticed however I am way more supportive and celebratory of others when I have already ran that race. SOOO easy to be supportive and celebrate others when you have already gotten to it.

Do I still think some of my friends aren’t really celebrating my victories.. yes. I am not blind by my own character flaw (now) and I am certainly not blind by someone else’s. (It’s always hard to see your own, but much less difficult to see someone else’s)

I don’t think feeling bitter or jealous means you aren’t a good person or you aren’t a good friend. I think women compare too much and we compare ourselves so often to the ones we love the most because we see their successes and we want it too for ourselves. I love, love, love my friends and I am genuinely happy for them but it doesn’t mean I never feel any other emotion towards a situation. So, in that being said. How can we celebrate others?

1. DO speak celebratory words into their lives in a positive uplifting way
2. DO make it a point to recognize all good in your own life which will make it much easier for you to celebrate others in their lives.
3. DO speak openly and honestly about feelings you are having to those you love and speak honestly to yourself.

Quote from the weekend that has been at the forefront of my mind …

“There is turmoil in being envious, and healing in celebrating others” –Pastor Adam

The real woman is one who doesn’t have to have won that race and had those victories but at her very core is genuinely celebrating in your victory. That’s the woman I want to be

That person is happy! That person is basking in all of their glory right now so you being bitter and frustrated over their success only hinders your own success. It puts a damper on your day, not theirs. Experience the freedom that comes with celebrating others victories, and know that your own lies ahead!